PotPourri Of Global Interest: Getting Your PhD in Becoming A Crank

Here are some suggestions:

If you are faculty at a university, make sure to write a book about your crank idea. When the other members at the department decide to deny you tenure because of your moronic ideas or call you an idiot claim persecution!
If you work at an office, make sure you spend your time promoting your crank idea. Tell everybody about it. Send mass emails about it. Leave copies of your "monograph" where your boss and others can find it - like the breakroom. If you're fired for pursuing your crankery on the job claim persecution!
If someone shows up at your website or forum and points out the flaws in your argument claim persecution!
If anyone calls you an idiot, a moron, a pseudoscientist, a crank, or denialist claim persecution!
If people don't immediately accept your idea upon hearing it claim persecution!
If they won't teach your idea in public schools as fact claim persecution!
If they won't teach the controversy over your ideas in public schools claim persecution!
If people criticize journals for publishing your papers claim persecution!
If people circulate petitions against teaching your ideas claim persecution!
If a journalists covers only the scientific side and doesn't cover yours claim persecution!
If no one visits your site or listens to you claim persecution!
If no one persecutes you claim persecution!